


incomplete without you

by dinosar



Series: haikyuu!! soulmates au [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Romantic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosar/pseuds/dinosar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>koushi has never had a soulmate, so he's gone through life feeling a bone-deep loneliness that never seems to go away. but all of that changes when he's in his second year of high school, when one day two sets of writing that aren't his own appear on his skin.</p>
<p>(au where any marks made on your soulmate's body appears on your own)</p>
            </blockquote>





	incomplete without you

**Author's Note:**

> what have i gotten myself into now
> 
> this all started bc one night i thought to myself, "i want to write a kurodai soulmates au". but then i talked to friends about it on skype and we kept thinking of more and more pairings that could be in this au and basically it got very out of control and i havent even written the kurodai this au started with :') the call of iwaoisuga was just too strong.......so now this will be a series of oneshots/short fics basically! i'll have a full list of pairings in the description on the series if yall wanna check that out!
> 
> idea for the au came from [this list of soulmates aus!!](http://silentpeaches.tumblr.com/post/125291322610/soulmate-au-story-ideas)
> 
> anyway, enjoy!!

Sugawara Koushi does not have a soulmate.

 

He remembers being young, no more than five years old, having just learned to write. He'd been so excited, because finally, _finally_ , he'd be able to write something to his soulmate. He'd taken a washable marker in his hand―pink, because pink was his favorite―and pressed it to his skin, tongue stuck out in concentration as he formed shaky, messy characters on his tiny wrist as his parents watched with fondness in their eyes. They'd told him beforehand not to be too disappointed if he didn't get a reply right away, because maybe his soulmate couldn't write yet or maybe they were sleeping. Koushi had no problem with this, he knew he could be patient. He refused to get in the bath that night, however, not wanting the words he'd written so carefully to be washed away before his soulmate could see.

 

Koushi waited, and he waited, but no reply came. Not after days, after he'd been painstakingly tracing his words with a different color marker every day in case maybe his soulmate wasn't answering because they didn't like the colors he'd picked before.

 

Eventually, he ran out of colors.

 

When Koushi realized he wasn't going to get a response, he cried for days. His parents had tried to make excuses as to why no one was answering, wanting nothing more than for their son to stop crying, but somehow, he knew―he got no responses because there was no one there to see the things he wrote.

 

Growing up as the only person around whose skin bore no writing was hard. People made fun of him, bullied him for not having a soulmate, and told him he was going to be alone forever. And eventually, he started to believe them―after all, how could he not? _Everyone_ had a soulmate. He was the odd man out, an anomaly, and he was certain that he was destined to end up alone without anyone to love or be loved by.

 

Things got a little better when he started going to Karasuno. He met Daichi and Asahi there, and in them he found the kind of friendship he'd always craved. And in Asahi, he found something even more important―he'd finally found someone like him.

 

When he found out that Asahi had no soulmate like him, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He wasn't the weird one anymore, because finally there was someone else who never saw marks from somebody else on their skin. Granted, Asahi wasn't as bothered by his lack of soulmate as Koushi, but _still_. For the first time in his life, Koushi felt almost...normal.

 

But then even that was taken away when one day during their second year of high school, due to two certain mischievous first years, Asahi accidentally finds out that Kiyoko is his soulmate.

 

He remembers feeling so irrationally betrayed when that happened―the only person who could've possibly understood him was suddenly just like anybody else, and Koushi was alone again. He hadn't wanted to feel like that, though. He wanted to be happy for his friend, and deep down, he truly was, but...there was just the initial feeling that he'd somehow been _wronged_ by his friend even though he obviously knew that Asahi had absolutely no control over the situation. More than that, Koushi was so unbelievably jealous that he thought he might explode.

 

He's still pretty ashamed of how badly he'd taken that news, to be honest.

 

After that, Koushi had accepted that he was never going to have a soulmate of his own. But he had his friends, so he figured he'd be alright in the end, because he knew they'd never let him be truly alone. He was grateful to have them, even though the loving words he'd see on Daichi's skin made him unbelievably sad and envious sometimes. The feeling he'd gotten every time he saw other people being happy with their soulmates was something akin to homesickniss―which was crazy, because how could he miss something he'd never had?

 

* * *

 

Koushi is sitting in his room working on his homework one day when something black on his arm catches his eye. He thinks it's a bug at first, but then...

 

_dont u dare try to tell me aliens arent real_

 

He stares at the words on his arm numbly, unable to process the gravity of what their existence means. Because he'd given up on hoping that something like this would happen long ago―he's not stupid enough to believe that this is real. Clearly he's dreaming...it's the only logical explanation.

 

_ya ok whatever u say_

 

His eyes go wide when he sees a second, completely different set of handwriting appear under the first one, and he _knows_ he must be hallucinating at this point.

 

Because he doesn't even have _one_ soulmate, let alone _two_.

 

_IWA-CHAN U MAY DOUBT ME NOW BUT WHEN THEY COME FOR ME AND TAKE ME TO SPACE AND I LEAVE U BEHIND THEN U WILL BE SORRY_

 

Koushi can feel his breath hitching, like he can't get enough air into his lungs, and he doesn't think twice before dialing Daichi's number, trying to calm his breathing (and mostly failing).

 

“ _Hello?”_ his best friend says upon answering his phone.

 

“Can you come over?” Koushi's voice doesn't even sound like his own―he doesn't think he's ever sounded so freaked out in his entire life. He watches as more words appear in response to the previous ones, torn between hysterical laughter and hysterical tears.

 

_ya, sorry i didnt get to thank them for taking u before they left_

 

“ _Did something happen?”_ Daichi sounds concerned now, and Koushi can hear him moving around, probably already sliding his jacket on.

 

“There's writing on my arm but it's from two different people and I think I might pass out,” Koushi tells him, the first hysterical little giggle bubbling its way up his throat. “Daichi, I'm dreaming, right? There's no way this is happening...not to me...”

 

“ _I'll be there in two minutes,”_ his friend promises before hanging up, and Koushi is left staring down at the words on his arms.

 

What he sees makes him freeze.

 

_Ok, whats it gonna take to get u to wash this shit off rn bc i dont want ur lame alien talk on my arm_

 

_HMMMMM....maybe if u come stay the night tonight bc i need kisses  
\+ cuddles_

 

_ugh...................fine_

 

_aw iwa-chan dont act like its a chore  
u know u wanna cuddle_

 

_in ur dreams shittykawa_

 

_STOP WITH THE RUDE NICKNAME I DONT DESERVE THIS_

 

_ok, fine. i'll be over right after all of this is washed off, tooru_

 

_iwa-chan_  
no wait this is a first name moment  
hajime  
i love u

 

_i love u too, i guess_

 

Koushi watches in horror as the words get scrubbed away right before his eyes, leaving only slightly pink skin behind as proof that they were ever there.

 

Immediately, his eyes fill with tears―he wanted to show Daichi, he wanted it to _stay_ because he's waited his entire life for this moment and it can't end _just like that_.

 

Daichi finds him curled up on his bed, clutching his arm to his chest as his entire body shakes with heavy sobs, and immediately the brunet sits on the bed and pulls him into his arms. Koushi clutches him tightly, burying his face into his collarbone, and Daichi gently starts to rub his back. The repetitive motions gradually soothe the pale-haired teen until his sobs quiet to hiccups, and it's at this point that Daichi speaks.

 

“What happened?” he asks, voice soft. When Koushi pulls back to look at him, he finds worry in his best friend's deep brown eyes.

 

“It was there,” Koushi whispers, his voice sounding almost hollow. “Right here on my arm. They were talking, and I...I don't even know who they are but...they were _there_ , Daichi, and now they're gone and I―” His voice cracks, and Daichi pulls him back to his chest before he can start to cry again, continuing to rub his back. “What if I imagined the whole thing, Daichi? What if I'm so desperate that it's making me go crazy and hallucinate?”

 

Daichi takes the arm Koushi had shown him, gently rubbing over the faintly pink skin on his forearm. “I don't think that's the case,” he says gently, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “This is what my arm looks like after Tetsu and I wash our messages off to make room for new ones. That's all that happened, okay? There will be more messages, I promise.” He pauses. “I bet if you wrote something, they'd answer,” he adds, voice hesitant because he knows how much it's hurt his best friend in the past to write messages and get no reply.

 

“I...can't,” Koushi replies quietly with a shake of his head. “They probably have a whole life together already―I'd most likely be unwelcome, and I just...don't want to put any of us through that. I won't go where I'm not wanted,” he finishes, voice wobbling with the tears in his eyes.

 

“You don't know that you're not wanted, Koushi,” Daichi reasons. “I'm sure they'd be excited to know that you exist, y'know? I know if a situation arose where someone else was soulmates with Tetsu and I, I'd...at least be welcoming. Because clearly it would be happening for a reason.”

 

“I'm not going to take the chance of things getting awkward. I'll just...keep going as I always have.” He tries to smile, but he can feel his lower lip start to quiver at the thought of continuing on alone after knowing that he doesn't have to be. He desperately wants to meet them, know them, learn everything he can about them, but he's scared―he's never heard of three people being each other's soulmates before, and he doesn't want to take the chance of becoming an awkward third wheel.

 

“Koushi...” Daichi murmurs, sliding a hand up into his best friend's hair and pulling him close. “I obviously can't make you do anything you don't want to, but...I know you want to talk to them, I can see it all over your face. I don't want to see you so unhappy, so just...please think about it, okay? For me,” he pleads, stroking the pale strand's of Koushi's hair. “There's no way anyone would be unhappy to have a soulmate like you, okay? You're a huge catch, I promise.”

 

Somehow, Koushi manages to choke out a laugh. “Is that so?”

 

Daichi hums affirmatively. “I don't think there's a living being on earth who wouldn't want you around them, and that's the honest truth.”

 

“I don't know about that,” Suga answers, his voice a soft sigh. “But...you're right, I do want to talk to them, I won't try to deny it. I'm just...scared. It's a lot to take in, and I don't know what kind of people they are, so...I'm going to observe for a while, okay? I promise I'll think about talking to them, but I can't do it yet.”

 

“Alright,” Daichi relents, letting out a sigh of his own. “Just...think about yourself a little, please? It's nice that you're trying to be considerate of their relationship, but don't automatically count yourself out and tell yourself you're not wanted, Koushi. Because anyone would be lucky to have you.”

 

“You say that anyone would be lucky to have _me_ , but...I think the real lucky one is Kuroo, because he has someone as wonderful as _you_ to share his life with,” Koushi says with a soft, honest smile, letting his head rest in the crook of his best friend's neck. “You...really don't know what you've done for me, just by being in my life. You're far more kind and sweet than most people realize, y'know? Because you're subtle about it―you don't make a big deal out of doing things for people. You didn't hesitate at all to rush over here as soon as I called, and...I dunno, I guess I just appreciate having someone around who cares about me that much.”

 

“Aw, c'mon, you're embarrassing me,” Daichi tells him, cheeks red as he reaches up to scratch his cheek the way he always does when he's embarrassed. “I don't do anything special, it's just called being a good friend...”

 

“But before you, I didn't have a 'good friend' so this is all pretty new to me still,” the pale-haired teen reminds him, allowing his eyes to close. “So shut up and let me appreciate you, hmm?”

 

“Alright, fine,” Daichi sighs, shaking his head. “I love you, you know,” he adds, scratching his cheek again.

 

And Koushi can't help but smile, reaching up to pinch his cheek. “You're cute, Daichi. But...I love you too. Thanks for being in my life.” His voice gets progressively softer as he speaks, his throat starting to burn with tears again, but for a better reason this time.

 

He thinks he understands what it must be like for Asahi and Kiyoko now. Because he's sure that, if anyone were to be his platonic soulmate...there's absolutely no doubt in his mind that it would be Daichi.

 

* * *

 

Hajime and Tooru have always known that they were soulmates.

 

Hajime remembers the day they'd both decided to try writing something to their soulmates to see if they got an answer. They'd been nervous, but the fact that they were going to do it together gave them both the courage they needed to make those first marks, and then...

 

He remembers the pure delight he felt as he watched his own marks appear on Tooru's skin. There was just something so _right_ about it, because there was no one he'd rather have as his soulmate anyway. He'd thought it was just the coolest thing in the whole world that he got to be soulmates with his best friend.

 

Of course, he _still_ thinks that, but it's not like he'll say it out loud. It's not like he has to, anyway―because Tooru already knows without being told, just as Hajime knows that Tooru feels the exact same way.

 

So why, Hajime wonders, does he feel as if there's something missing? For as long as he can remember, he's always had this persistent, nagging feeling deep in his soul that he's missing something very vital. It keeps him awake at night, which is honestly ridiculous because he has his best friend as his soulmate. What more could he possibly want or need in his life?

 

It makes him feel so, so guilty. Like he's wronging Tooru by not being completely content with things the way they are or something stupid like that. He's thought about telling Tooru about it more than once, but...he can never bring himself to do it, because he doesn't want him to feel like he's not enough. Because god, he _is_ enough, he's all Hajime's ever wanted.

 

He convinces himself that he can just ignore that stupid feeling. He has Tooru, and that's enough for him.

 

But then, weird things start happening.

 

* * *

 

“You really need to take it easy,” Hajime mutters one day after school as they collapse together on Tooru's bed. “My knees and arms are _covered_ in your bruises. Were you doing extra practice that I don't know about?”

 

Tooru raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? I thought those were all from _you_. I don't remember getting any of those bruises myself...”

 

Hajime's brow furrows. It has to be _one_ of them who's getting these bruises... “Maybe they're from both of us and we just didn't notice them until now? It wouldn't be the first time we've gotten all bruised up from practice without really feeling it,” he points out, shrugging.

 

Tooru hums. “Could be? Well. I guess it would have to be that, wouldn't it? Bruises just don't just show up out of nowhere,” he shrugs. “Whatever, I'm not going to worry about it.”

 

Hajime had figured that would be the end of it, but the mysterious bruises continued to show up. And they're mostly nasty bruises, ones that one of them _definitely_ would've felt.

 

So where the hell are these bruises coming from?

 

Hajime stares down at his unfinished homework, chewing absently on the end of his pencil. Wrinkling his nose, he reaches for the nearest washable marker, looking over his arm for an empty spot to write―really, it's about time they wash off so that they actually have space to communicate, but he's too lazy to get up and do that at the moment and it always takes way too much effort to convince Tooru to, since he gets sentimental and doesn't like washing their conversations away.

 

Pressing the marker to a blank patch of skin on the inside of his upper arm, he begins to write.

 

_u sure the hip bruise isnt urs_

 

The bruise in question is probably the worst he's seen so far―it's huge and dark purple, and even just looking at it makes Hajime wince because he can only imagine the kind of fall that must have resulted in a bruise like that. If he finds out Tooru's been overexerting himself again...

 

_iwa-chan i swear its not mine,_ Tooru writes back a moment later. w _here tf did it come from this is fckin weird_

 

Tooru's guess is just as good as his own.

 

* * *

 

When Daichi sits Koushi down after practice one day, the pale-haired teen immediately braces himself for the scolding and/or lecture that's about to come.

 

“You've been reckless during practice lately,” Daichi comments, crossing his arms over his chest. “You're not trying to get their attention, are you? Because there are easier ways to do that.”

 

Koushi flinches―he knew Daichi would figure him out sooner or later, but he hadn't expected it to be quite so soon. “I...” He tries to think of some kind of excuse, but when nothing comes, he turns his gaze downward. He can't meet Daichi's eyes right now. “I just...wanted to see if they'd say anything,” he admits.

 

In his peripheral vision, Koushi can see Daichi pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated. “Koushi, it's been a month since the writing started appearing, why won't you just say something to them? You're getting hurt for absolutely no reason and I refuse to watch it continue,” he says firmly, and when Koushi hesitantly looks up, he finds hard but concerned brown eyes staring at him.

 

“But...they don't need me,” Koushi says softly, a sad smile on his face. “They're happy, Daichi― _really_ happy. The way they talk, it's like...they've been with each other their entire lives. They don't need an outsider coming in and ruining that.”

 

“Then why go through so much trouble to get their attention if that's how you think?” Daichi counters.

 

“I just...want my existence to be acknowledged, without them _really_ knowing. It's pathetic, but...even if it's only by them asking each other where the bruises are coming from, the fact that they're noticing me at all is enough,” he explains, looking down at his hands in his lap.

 

“You know it's not enough at all,” Daichi mutters, raking a hand through his own hair in frustration. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for me to watch you be unhappy like this? Especially when it's such a simple thing for you to fix, but you won't do it and you're the only one who _can_ so it's not even like I can do anything about it. I hate seeing you like this, don't you get that? It makes me feel so helpless...”

 

Biting his lip, Koushi stands up from his spot on the floor against the gym wall and wraps his arms around Daichi, hugging him tight. “I'm sorry, but I can't talk to them. I won't be the one who disturbs what they have together,” he says quietly, pulling back to meet Daichi's eyes. “Even though I've never talked to them...I _love_ them, Daichi. I love the people that I see in the words on my skin. I don't even know their actual names yet, but they're important to me and I'm going to do this for them. _Please_ , Daichi, if you really love me, then you have to respect my decision on this.”

 

The brunet looks torn for a moment, chewing on his lower lip, until he finally lets out a long, deep sigh and pulls Koushi back to his chest. “You stubborn asshole,” he whispers, squeezing his best friend tightly.

 

“My stubbornness is part of my charm,” he replies weakly, resting his head on Daichi's shoulder. “But I'll be fine, okay? I've made it just fine on my own up till now, so...I'll be fine from now on, too. Okay?”

 

“I don't know if I believe that, but...if this is what you want, then I won't say anything about it anymore,” Daichi promises, reluctance in his tone. “Just promise me you won't hold it all in, okay? Talk to me about what you're feeling, because I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this. Because you're not, Koushi―Asahi, Kiyoko and I love you so much, and we want you to be happy. Alright? We're all here for you if you let us be.”

 

“Thank you,” Koushi chokes out, throat burning as his eyes fill with tears. “I don't know what I would do without you and the others, honestly. You're all so important to me...”

 

“You're important to us, too,” Daichi replies, voice soft.

 

Koushi wishes he could go back in time to talk to the sad little boy he used to be, back when he was made fun of constantly and no one wanted to be his friend. If he could, he'd tell him that everything would be okay, because soon enough, he'd have the best friends in the whole world looking out for him. That no matter what, they'd be there for him and show him that yes, he can and _will_ be loved.

 

* * *

 

Koushi has taken to wearing long sleeves most of the time.

 

It's just―some days, the words on his skin become too much to bear, and he just has to cover them up to give himself a break. Because every time he sees their loving words, his entire soul _aches_ , because he wants to be a part of it. But he'd resolved himself long ago that he'd never let them know of his existence, and he's not going to change his mind no matter how hard it is.

 

The worst is late at night, when they're feeling particularly mushy. During the day, it's mostly just banter between them, but nighttime is when they let their true feelings show, and every carefully written tender word they write is like an arrow straight through Koushi's heart.

 

One night, when it becomes too much to handle, Koushi lets himself slip.

 

_i love you both so much that it hurts,_ he writes on the sole of his left foot, trying to still his shaking hands so that he can write properly. He figures it's a safe spot to write―after all, it's not like people often look at the bottoms of their feet. Feeling as if he's doing something horribly wrong, he clutches his marker tighter and continues to write. _it hurts to stay quiet. it hurts that you don't even know i exist. i hate how lonely i am. i hate that im so scared._

 

_i just want you to know that im here_

 

He leaves it for maybe two minutes before the panic sets in―and then he's rushing to the bathroom to scrub it off, crying so hard that his nose runs as tears flow down his cheeks. He desperately wants to call Daichi and ask him to come over, wants the comfort of his best friend's arms around him, but it's after midnight already so it's definitely too late for that.

 

When he's finally sure there's no trace of the marker left on his skin after twenty minutes of desperately scrubbing, his feet are stinging horribly and his throat burns from crying. He pulls himself together enough to slip back to his room without waking his parents, crawling into his bed and pulling the covers around himself tightly.

 

Like most other nights, he cries himself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Today, they're going to be playing a practice match against Kageyama's school. Hajime doesn't think too much of it, although Tooru is a whole other story, but still. Something about the day is putting him on edge, and he knows it's not the thought of facing off against his former underclassman. It's...really unsettling.

 

As he's warming up, he sees big black letters begin to appear along the length of his forearm.

 

_GOOD LUCK TODAY IWA-CHAN I LOVE U_

 

And then in smaller letters, _i promise i'll be there before the end of the match._

 

He doesn't bother writing back, but the words bring the smallest of smiles to his lips.

 

Soon the time for warmups ends, and the practice match begins. His team takes the first set with hardly any difficulty, mostly due to the mistakes of the small orange-haired first year on Karasuno's team, but then...something clicks between Kageyama and the shorty, and the second set is taken from them.

 

Midway through the third set, Tooru arrives. Hajime doesn't want to say he's relieved, because he's sure they'd be able to win even without him, but...there's always something so reassuring about having Tooru on the court beside him.

 

But even when he joins them, they somehow lose as the small first year on the opposite team spikes the ball so quickly that no one can react, the ball whizzing right past Tooru's face to slam into the floor behind him.

 

When they're doing their cooldown stretches, Hajime can't help but glance over to study the other team. They'd all been so sure that Karasuno wasn't a threat, but...it seems they were wrong.

 

As he's looking them all over, he spots one of the guys who was on the bench for the match. He's speaking with their advisor while the others stretch, and Hajime is kind of taken aback by how beautiful his smile is. The dark-haired teen watches as he reaches up to brush his hair back, and then...Hajime stops breathing for a moment.

 

Because on his forearm, peeking out from under half rolled-up sleeves, are the exact same words Tooru had written him just before the match.

 

* * *

 

Koushi can't shake the feeling that he's being stared at.

 

His teammates are doing their cooldown stretches after winning the practice match against Seijoh, so they're stuck hanging around for a little while. Koushi passes the time by talking to Takeda-sensei, answering his questions about volleyball, and the whole time, he can feel eyes boring into him from somewhere in the room. It kind of gives him the creeps, but he doesn't wanna start looking around and alert whoever is staring to the fact that he _knows_ they're staring.

 

But then, _it_ happens.

 

The words that appear on the inside of his wrist make his breath catch in his throat.

 

_hey you with the grey hair  
look over toward the doors if you see this_

 

Without even really meaning to, he does as the writing on his wrist says, his mouth falling open when he sees two of the boys from the Seijoh team standing there, staring, their expressions as shocked as his own.

 

Koushi starts running in the opposite direction without even thinking.

 

_This can't be happening,_ he thinks as he runs out of the gym, not even really knowing where he's going but just knowing he needs to get _away_.

 

He runs through a hallway, trying to find the way outside. But as he's turning a corner, he runs smack into the chest of someone taller than him, and he feels arms wrap around him to steady him before he can fall over.

 

When he looks up, he feels his breath come quicker, too quickly―because the one he slammed into is none other than Kageyama's old upperclassman, Oikawa Tooru, aka one of the two boys who'd been standing in the doorway when he'd looked up. He must've taken some kind of shortcut to catch Koushi before he could leave...

 

“Please don't run again,” the taller teen says quickly, catching Koushi's wrist as he tries to turn and run away once more.

 

“Let me go. _Please_ ,” Koushi begs, feeling his eyes prick with tears. “This wasn't supposed to happen, you were never supposed to know―” His chest tightens, and suddenly it's hard to breathe―he can't get the air he needs. He's panicking, he knows he is, but he can't help it. Tooru looks terrified, russet brown eyes wide.

 

“Hey, you gotta breathe, okay? Shit, what the hell do I do?” He's clearly saying the last part to himself, looking around frantically as Koushi starts hyperventilating.

 

Just as his vision is blackening around the edges, ears ringing so loudly that he can barely hear anything around him, he feels a familiar set of arms wrap around him, rubbing his back. He clutches Daichi's shirt desperately, gasping for air, while his best friend tells him over and over to breathe, that he'll be okay if he just _breathes_.

 

Gradually, breathing becomes easier. Daichi continues to rub circles into his back, telling Koushi to try and match his breathing, and eventually he lets go of his shirt, a quiet thank you leaving his mouth.

 

“I'm so sorry I made you panic.” The voice comes from behind him, and he hesitantly turns to find Tooru standing there, brow creased with concern, and Koushi can feel his eyes filling with tears.

 

“We just wanted to talk to you,” the other boy, the one who must be named Hajime, adds, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “We didn't want to scare you or anything...”

 

“Talk to them,” Daichi whispers softly into his ear. “You'll be alright, I promise. I'm gonna go back and tell everyone that something's come up, okay?”

 

Koushi wants to beg him not to leave him, but he stops himself. There's no point in running anymore―they've already seen him, they know about him now so it would just be pointless.

 

“Okay,” Koushi replies, voice cracking.

 

Daichi takes his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze before walking away, leaving Koushi with the two people he'd desperately wanted to meet for months, but did everything in his power to avoid.

 

“What's your name?” Tooru asks after a moment.

 

“...Koushi,” he answers, biting his lip. “Sugawara Koushi. And...you're Tooru, and you're Hajime, right?” His voice shakes as he says it, tears threatening to fall from his eyes any second.

 

“...so you really are our soulmate then, huh?” Hajime questions, voice full of wonder.

 

Koushi wraps his arms around himself, looking down at the floor. “I guess I am,” he chokes out in reply, feeling his lip quiver. “Sorry about that.”

 

“Wait, are you apologizing for being our soulmate?” Hajime asks incredulously, taking a step forward but stopping when Koushi flinches away from him.

 

“Iwa-chan, you big brute,” Tooru mutters, elbowing him in the side before turning his attention to the pale-haired teen once more. “...do you think we're upset or something? Is that why you're so scared?” There's nothing accusatory in his tone―he just sounds sad.

 

“I just...never planned on either of you finding out I exist,” he replies, hugging himself tighter. A tear finally slips from his eye, and he furiously wipes it away. It's quickly replaced by another, however, and before he knows it he's full-on sobbing in the middle of the hallway.

 

His breath catches when he feels two sets of arms wrap around him, two warm bodies pressing into his sides, and he doesn't think twice about burying his face into the closest chest, which happens to be Hajime's. Both of them are murmuring soft, comforting words to him, and one of them is stroking his hair.

 

“Why didn't you ever write to us?” Hajime asks softly, thick arms wrapped snugly around Koushi's middle.

 

“I didn't want to wreck what you to have,” Koushi sobs, fingers clutching at the dark-haired teen's shirt. “You two seemed to content with each other, I couldn't risk disrupting that...but it hurt so bad, I was so lonely...”

 

“Shh...” It's Tooru who speaks this time, and Koushi feels him press closer. “You're not going to be lonely anymore, alright? God, everything makes sense now...all the unexplained bruises...were you letting yourself get hurt to get our attention?” His voice is shaky, and it only makes Koushi cry harder.

 

“It was the only thing I could think of doing,” Koushi tells him, reaching up to wipe at his face with his hand. “It was stupid, but I wanted you both to acknowledge my existence somehow...”

 

“How long have you kept quiet?” Hajime gently prods after a moment, reaching a hand up to brush Koushi's hair out of his face.

 

“It only started a few months ago.” Koushi feels himself start to shake harder, and he has to take a few deep breaths before he can speak again. “All my life...I never saw anyone else's marks on my skin. People bullied me, said I was weird, a freak. And right when I was starting to accept that _maybe_ I'd be okay anyway, the writing started appearing and I just didn't know what to do about it.” His teeth dig into his lower lip. “I couldn't bring myself to butt in when you two would talk, because it was easy to see that you two already had the perfect life together and I was scared that I would ruin that if I made my presence known. It didn't look like I was needed, anyway. But...it got so hard to watch, because...I fell in love with two people who I was going to make sure would never know I exist.”

 

“...Koushi,” Tooru says his name slowly, as if testing the way it feels on his tongue, “you're our soulmate. You could never 'ruin' what we have because what we have is meant to be shared with you, obviously, or else you wouldn't be our soulmate. Honestly, it's just common sense,” he says, a slight tone of fond exasperation to his voice as he turns Koushi's face toward him and offers a soft smile. “I never mentioned anything to Hajime, but...I've always kind of felt like a piece of me was missing. I thought I was being stupid before, but... _you're_ that missing piece, Koushi. You belong with us, and I...I don't want you to _ever_ feel like you don't.”

 

“I felt like that too,” Hajime admits, “so...there's no need to stay away anymore, Koushi, because...I've never felt more right in my entire life than I do right now,” he says gently, cupping Koushi's pale cheek.

 

Tooru takes both of Koushi's hands, placing one over Hajime's heart and one over his own. “These are yours...if you want them,” he murmurs, covering Koushi's smaller hand with his own.

 

Tears blur Koushi's vision, and he feels his knees go weak at all the dizzying emotions swirling inside of him. Piece by piece, the doubt and fear that had built a wall around his heart begins to melt away, leaving behind a warmth he's never known before. He slides to the floor and weeps, clutching both of them tightly around their necks, and they hold him just as tightly, tears slipping silently down their faces as well―because finally, they're together, and they're complete.

 

* * *

 

It's hard to say goodbye when it's time to head back to Karasuno. Koushi doesn't want to be away from them again, not when he's finally met them, but they promise they'll write to him later, although they too look reluctant to see him go.

 

“We can see each other on the weekend,” Hajime promises him as they hug, one hand playing with Koushi's pale hair. “You can come to one of our houses, or we can even come to yours if you want. We'll figure it out, okay?”

 

Koushi nods into the crook of his shoulder, squeezing him tighter. He nearly starts to cry again when he feels the softest of kisses pressed against the side of his head, and shyly, he lifts his own head to kiss Hajime's cheek. The dark-haired boy blinks slowly in shock, cheeks reddening, before he smiles and kisses Koushi's cheek in return.

 

“It takes a special kind of person to make Iwa-chan embarrassed,” Tooru says from behind him, and Koushi lets go of Hajime to turn toward the brunet instead. His arms are spread wide, a smile on his face. “Do I get a hug too? I know I'm not as nice to hug as Iwa-chan since I'm bonier, but―” The rest of his sentence gets cut off as Koushi practically tackles him, his breath leaving him in a whoosh as the shorter teen hugs him tightly. He recovers quickly, however, wrapping his arms around Koushi and kissing the top of his head. “I don't want you to leave,” he admits, not moving his mouth from Koushi's hair. “But I'll be the strong one, alright? Especially since Iwa-chan looks like he's going to cry any second―”

 

“―I do not!”

 

“―and we wouldn't want that so I promise I'll take care of him until the weekend,” he finishes, pulling back slightly to smile down at Koushi and reaching up to cup his cheek. “So give me a smile, alright? The weekend is only two days away, and you're too beautiful to look this sad.”

 

And Koushi can't help but smile, warmth buzzing in his chest, as he stretches onto the tips of his toes to kiss his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. “Thank you,” he says softly, knowing his cheeks are awfully red but not really minding.

 

The smile he gets in return is dazzling, and it's the last thing Koushi sees before a multitude of kisses are being pressed all over his cheeks, drawing a bubble of laughter up his throat as he squeezes his eyes shut.

 

Tooru finishes his assault with a kiss to the tip of his nose, brown eyes bright. “ _There's_ the smile I wanted,” he murmurs, stroking Koushi's cheek with his thumb.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Koushi can see writing start to appear on Tooru's wrist. He lifts his own hand to look at it, covering his mouth with his other hand to try and hold back his laughter when he sees it.

 

_u guys are gay_

 

“Aw, is Iwa-chan jealous? Do you want kisses too?” Tooru coos.

 

Hajime crosses his arms, cheeks red, and Koushi chokes out a laugh. “As if,” he mutters.

 

Smiling softly, Koushi holds out a hand to him. “You don't have to be embarrassed.”

 

Going even redder, Hajime takes his hand and allows himself to be pulled into the hug that Koushi and Tooru give him, and he just about combusts when they each kiss one of his cheeks.

 

They all turn when someone clears their throat from behind them, and Koushi turns to find Daichi standing there awkwardly. “Sorry to interrupt, but Takeda-sensei says we really have to go,” he tells them, scratching his cheek.

 

“You promise you'll write to me tonight?” Koushi asks, feeling a little bit of leftover anxiety slip into his voice.

 

Both Tooru and Hajime nod. “We promise,” they reply in unison, giving him a final squeeze before letting go. Koushi reluctantly heads over to Daichi's side, unable to help looking back at them, but he smiles when Tooru blows him a kiss.

 

As they're about to turn the corner to get to the bus, Hajime's voice stops them. “Hey, Sawamura,” he calls, and Daichi turns back to look at him in surprise. “Thanks for taking care of him for us,” he finishes, scratching the back of his neck.

 

Daichi laughs a little. “No problem,” he replies before they start walking again, and that's the end of that. They reach the bus and climb on, sitting together, and Koushi allows his head to fall onto Daichi's shoulder with a dreamy sigh.

 

“I kind of want to kick myself for not talking to them sooner,” he admits, peeking up at his best friend. “I didn't realize it would go this well.”

 

Daichi snorts. “I don't wanna say I told you so, but...I _definitely_ told you so,” he says smugly, allowing himself to rest his head on top of Koushi's. “Really, though...I'm so happy for you, Koushi.”

 

“I'm happy too,” Koushi answers softly, the smallest of smiles on his face.

 

He spends the rest of the night talking to Hajime and Tooru, using just about every available piece of skin to do so. He answers all the questions they have about him, letting them get to know him the way he's gotten to know them. When he finally tells them he can't keep his eyes open any longer, he gets two identical messages in two different sets of handwriting on the inside of his left palm.

 

_we love you, koushi_

 

And for the first time in a very long time, Koushi falls asleep with a smile on his face.

 

**Author's Note:**

> iwaoisuga is good for the soul
> 
> so next up will most likely be kenhina or kurodai, but im kinda leaning toward kenhina?? bc talking about it Hit Me Right In The Feels.....................they'll all be separate fics tho so if u wanna read them make sure u keep an eye on the series or my tumblr!!
> 
> feedback is very much appreciated as always!! feel free to hmu and ask any questions u have about the au either here or on my [tumblr](http://ceesarzeppeli.tumblr.com)!!


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